Bush Resigns

Gorge W. Bush, President of the United States, has resigned, according to the websites of the New York Tomes, Washington Past, and Woe Street Journal.  Goggle's news servers are so busy they have all crashed.

So far almost one hundred letters of congratulations from foreign leaders have poured into the What House.  A flash poll in 60 countries by the Galluping Organization showed that Bush's popularity overseas has rebounded from all-time lows to new highs after word of his departure spread in seconds via the internet.

Vigilant TV crews filmed Bush and his wife waving goodbye to the cameras as they stepped into the official helicopter which would start them on yet another trip home to their ranch in Crawfish, Texas.  The few reporters present threw spitballs.

Natalie Main of the Dixie Clicks told Newswhack magazine, "Geez, it sure feels good.  God Almighty, we're free at last.  It's a great day for Texas."

Meanwhile, the government has been plunged into crisis.  Vice President Dick Cranky, who will succeed Bush, was rushed to an undisclosed location before he could take the oath of office.  Rumors of a coup by the Sacred Service are circulating everywhere.

Publicly, Bush gave no reasons for his action.  Nor, apparently, did he tell anyone on his staff.  The What House spinperson could not be reached.  His assistant said he had laryngitis.  The news of the Bush resignation was leaked by a foreign intelligence service believed to be JI.  CIA head Potter Gosh claimed he had been disinformed.

However, Lesley Stall of Over 60 Minutes, managed to reach the former President by cell phone for a brief conversation.  The Disassociated Press quoted a truncated version of her account which will air in full this evening on CeeBeeEs.

"It was remarkable.  The President said he was bipolar.  He called himself a great evildoer.  He confessed he had lied every day since law school.  He compared the war in Eyeraq to Veetnam and said it was another kwagmire.  He expected the current Eyeraq civil war to explode.  The country would disintegrate into three new states within days.  The Sadist resistance would restore Sad Hussein to power in the city of Baddag.  Zarki's fighters would assassinate Sad while continuing to move their jaded operations into five neighboring countries.  At this point the President broke down and could not go on." 

As evening falls, over 200 million Americans are glued to their TVs for further developments.  Lights have gone on all over America. 

Comments

[John]

Dani, the generous Georg Boros has written to Lora Bush: "I am so saddened to learn of your hubby's continued dementia and his recent obsessive-compulsive behavior in re-shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. It must be tough on you and the girls all alone out there on the ranch. Nonetheless, be at peace. The NSA will continue to monitor your every word, as it does mine. I would, however, deeply appreciate your using any residual influence you may have in arranging the expeditious return of my adopted country."

[Dani]

JoshMacDonnald at Simply City, I wonder what would Georg Boros comment on this nuzz. I like your storis.

[John]

Thank you, A. John Little, the (uh) most senior Friend in this network (albeit still faceless).
I'm glad not to get the Pulitzer (I loathe awards). All I desire at this moment is for Bushbaby and other outliers (like Oz) to ratify the Kyoto Protocol so there's a rapid climate change on the east coast of the U.S. (brrrr).

[A John]

John MacD., You oughta get an end-of-the-year Pulitzer for your ever-so-moving report on "W"'s resignation. I'll keep on praying -- not for the Pulitzer, but for the resignation! What an inspired thought!

[John]

Diyah, Gorgieboy called me on the hotline. "Johnnie Mac, you s.o.b. That tale gets you minus 10 on a scale of +1 to 100." I replied, "Be patient, sir. The next one will be a minus 50."

[mardiyah]

For moment I thought that Bush really has resigned....! wishfull thinking i guess.

Very good job, Pak John. I like this tall tales.

cheers,
diyah